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  "published_at": "2018-01-08T18:40:21+11:00",
  "published_at_utc": "2018-01-08T07:40:21+00:00",
  "timestamp": 1515397221,
  "display_timezone": "Australia/Sydney",
  "text": "Dear God: why did you make me so socially awkward?\n\nHaven't been out and about for a few days because it has been stupidly hot - ridiculously hot - and muggy; which is the very worst combination in the whole entire world. We've been living Netflix and Stan and air con. Today I was DESPERATE to leave the house so headed to the beach. There were a couple of silver gulls, a cormorant or two and nothing else really. \n*Le sigh*\n\nI had almost packed up to head home when I noticed some crabs peaking out from the rocks so thought I'd observe and try and get some pics. Now I've got my new lens right? It's a pro lens (thank you hubby) and looks very spesh. However it is actually a shorter focal length than my old one - better lens but less zoom (stick with me, this is important). So I'm leaning down into a rock crevice with my super long looking lens and a guy comes up to me and says \"well, that's going to be a close up of a close up\". Bear in mind I'm thinking about how the lens looks like it would be giving me a super close shot but it's not quite the zoom of my old one, yada yada yada so I reply \"it's not as long as it looks\". Now I enjoy a penis joke as much as the next girl and I wanted to throw in the old 'that's what she said' joke - you know the one that makes every sentence sound filthy? But then because I also over analyse everything I was thinking if this guy doesn't know the joke, he'll think I'm stupid and who wants some random bloke at the beach thinking I'm an idiot...so instead I say \"at least that's what my husband tells me\"! WHAT?! WHY?!? Why would I say such a thing??? Am I put on this earth to make others feel better about themselves!!?? 😂🙌Thank goodness he laughed. (He did also leave rather hastily though 😳)\n\nAs I was leaving (and believe me, it was time to go) I noticed a ghost crab scurrying about on the path. These guys are usually only out at twilight/nighttime to feed at the shore line. It should have been in its burrow in the dunes. And then I noticed the ants. There were quite a number of ants crawling over it. The crab would stop, shake its legs, pull down its eye stalks only for more ants to climb over it. I moved it a couple of times only to have more ants find it and start climbing on and biting at it. Poor little bugger. The ants obviously could see/smell something that I couldn't though. Still, not a fan of the whole being eaten alive thing so I ended up moving it to a rock platform, close enough to the sand for it to get back to its burrow but far enough away from the ants to buy it some time. Nature is a total bitch sometimes.\n\nCommon Ghost Crab\nSandon Point\n\n#marinelife #blueplanet #oceanlife #ghostcrab #sandonpoint #backyardzoology",
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